Classy Indian hotel doesn’t get many five-hundred-pound guests

Risky Business – by, Big Show
Story taken from WWE book – Are We There Yet?

Post 1A few years ago I went over to India to do a promotional tour for WWE. I’d never been there, so I was curious to see it but was real paranoid about some health issues.

We had to get like twelve shots before we went over. I was worried about eating the food over there and also brought like eight cases of bottled water with me. I am drinking bottled water, I am brushing my teeth with bottled water, showering with bottled water. That’s right I was doing the Hollywood movie star, Evian bath. It might have been a bit much, but I didn’t trust the water.

So we got to our hotel and have a little bit of time before we have to head out for the first appearance. I was travelling with the guys from the promotional company who takes care of us on these trips and we decided to go to our rooms to drop all of our stuff off before we left. Between my luggage and water I had tons of stuff to get into the room.

This wasn’t a regular room I was staying in, either. WWE put me in a huge suite. That’s one thing I love about WWE, it knows how to take care of its talents.

With the little bit of time I had, I figured I’d take care of the business in the bathroom. Now these suits had these elaborated European-style toilets that came out of the wall. They were nice from a decoration standpoint, but not practical. I guess a luxurious suite in a classy Indian hotel doesn’t get many five-hundred-pound guests.

As soon as I saw the set up of these things I knew it would be risky for a guy of my size, but the nature was calling so I didn’t have a choice. I had to get on.

I am sitting down for a little while, reading my golf magazine and everything is comfortable, everything is great.

Now remember, I’d only been in the room for a few minutes so I didn’t know much about it yet. One of the things I wasn’t familiar with was the sound of the doorbell.

It was so friggin’ loud. It was like a bomb siren going off.

Ding….dong! Ding….dong!

It just echoed through the entire suite. I thought there was a speaker in the bathroom or something, it was so loud. When it blasted through the suite I really had no idea what it was.

Ding….dong! Ding….dong!

This bell caught me so off guard that as soon as it rang through the suite I jumped up off the toilet and ripped it right out of the wall when I crashed back down on it. As it’s crumbling under me I somehow managed to hold myself up by grabbing the sink with my right hand and the towel rack with my left. I look down and see there’s all this broken porcelain and everything else below me. I started to think about how I was so nervous about the food and the water and now I was so close to falling in this mess.

I was about three inches from having an ass full of porcelain and having to call the office and try to explain that one.

I pushed off the sink to get back on my feet and get the hell out of there. We went right to the appearance for four hours and when we got back there was already a new toilet on the wall.

I pity the poor maintenance guy who had to make the call.

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